"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
05/05/2015 at 12:48 • Filed to: None
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"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
05/05/2015 at 12:48 • Filed to: None | 9
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I have a couple friends who consistently fill my Facebook news feed with pictures of scantily-clad women, because they’re always clicking ‘like’ on pictures of scantily-clad women. These friends are truly heroes to us all.
Dear Facebook Friend Who Really Likes To Post About Fitness,
I’m glad you enjoy your Crossfit sessions so much, and genuinely believe that bacon is a component of a well-balanced diet, because cavemen didn’t eat carbs and bacon is also not a carb.
You seem a bit oddly fixated on “motivational” pictures of female fitness models encouraging girls to lift weights. Do you really want girls to lift weights that much, or do you just like pictures of nicely-muscled female fitness models in skimpy outfits? Because you never post pictures saying dudes should lift weights.
Thanks for all the pictures of fitness models. I need to hit the gym.
-Me
P.S. Your teal base-model Ford Probe with an intake you had in high school was badass.
Dear Facebook Friend Who Really Likes To Party,
I’m not sure if you ever actually post things on Facebook, but you sure seem to click ‘like’ on an extremely large number of pictures posted by Playboy and Dan Bilzerian.
Do you know when you click ‘like’ on a picture, everyone you’re friends with sees that you clicked ‘like’? Knowing how much of a chillaxed fun party guy you are, I bet you do, and you’re just providing a service to the rest o f us who for whatever reason cannot publicly display our liking of pictures posted on Facebook by Playboy.
Thanks for all the pictures of Playboy models. Now I can avoid having it show up in my browser history!
-Me
P.S. Got any weed?
spanfucker retire bitch
> Textured Soy Protein
05/05/2015 at 12:54 |
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I have so many friends that I’ve either culled entirely from my friends list or just hidden all and any updates and/or posts from.
You really get intimately familiar with Facebook’s blocking and privacy features by doing so.
anothermiatafanboy
> Textured Soy Protein
05/05/2015 at 13:04 |
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Hilarious!
ttyymmnn
> Textured Soy Protein
05/05/2015 at 13:09 |
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Aaaaaannnddd, that’s why I’m not on Facebook.
Party-vi
> Textured Soy Protein
05/05/2015 at 13:12 |
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Back in my day this meant you were in for some awesome-ass music.
Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo
> Textured Soy Protein
05/05/2015 at 13:23 |
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#privacysettings
McMike
> Textured Soy Protein
05/05/2015 at 13:27 |
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Do you know when you click ‘like’ on a picture, everyone you’re friends with sees that you clicked ‘like’? Knowing how much of a chillaxed fun party guy you are, I bet you do, and you’re just providing a service to the rest of us who for whatever reason cannot publicly display our liking of pictures posted on Facebook by Playboy.
He probably doesn’t realize what he’s doing. For that reason, I’m assuming that everything that gets tagged with his name automatically shows up in his timeline.
If it were me.......... I would take each photo, put a cast member’s head from
The Golden Girls
on it, and tag him when you reply to the original post he “liked”
This is why I’m probably not on Facebook.
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Textured Soy Protein
> McMike
05/05/2015 at 13:40 |
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This is terrifying.
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Textured Soy Protein
> spanfucker retire bitch
05/05/2015 at 13:40 |
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But I appreciate the service they’re providing me.